[...]
2006-06-15 -- 10:11 p.m.

I woke up this morning with a huge smile on my face, danced around in the bathroom to Rascal Flatts while I got ready for work, jammed out to KT Tunstall on my way to work, bopped up to the door...and from there on out...the day sucked. Not because I was at work, but because of the news I got.

Sarah opened the door as I walked up and told me the news I knew was coming but didn't want to hear. Ms. Curmilla passed away this morning. Now, for those of you that don't know, Ms. Curmilla was one of the most amazing Christian women that I have ever met. She would do anything that she could for anyone that needed her. She was so loving...She smiled through her pain and worked through it until she just couldn't anymore. She was such an inspiration. She talked to me about sooooo many things in my life that I was struggling with...and now she's gone.

She can breathe now. She can run around if she wants to. She's smiling and laughing right now...I know she is. Because she always was. She's not gonna have to take 5 minutes to get out a sentence anymore. She doesn't have to lug around her oxygen tank. She's probably playing hop scotch with Jesus right now. :)

Gosh, I love that woman so much. I'm gonna miss her more than any of you could possibly know. This hurts so much. I know she's okay now, though. That makes me happy. It really, really does.

So, after I get that news, we still have an entire day of work ahead of us. We had catering, a full restaurant, to go orders, tons of phone calls, too many people to fake a smile for. I just couldn't do it. One of the regular customers stopped me and said, "Something's wrong...what's the matter..." I nearly lost it.

We finally made it through the lunch rush and were cleaning up when all of the sudden, the phone rang in the kitchen. I went to pick it up and on the caller ID it said, "Ferguson, Curmilla." I lost it. Someone was calling us from her house to tell us about the funeral arrangements. [If you want to come to the visitation tomorrow night, get in touch with me for the details.]

After work, I went to Wal-Mart and met up with Kyle and Fisher. I hugged my Marine goodbye.

From there on, things were okay. Mom and I went to Home Depot and to Cracker Barrel...came home and played Phase 10, listened to music, played with the dogs, and watched a movie. Then, I get a phone call from Kyle.

A guy I knew from high school shot and killed himself. Craig Barnes. No longer...

My heart hurts. I want to get out of the house, but I can't. My mom says I can't go out because I'll wake her up when I come back and she has to work in the morning. So, I have to sit locked up alone in my room and cry my eyes out. Lovely.

I'm not sure how much worse this year can get.

Rest in peace, Ms. Curmilla. I love you.

Craig, you'll be missed. LHS football was a joy with you around.

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